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I then toured the house opening every window and shutter I could find. It was during this part of the operation that I observed the typically French habit, which Mr. Puffin had warned me about, of removing everything not specifically listed in the sale contract. In this case it was not just the light bulbs but the fittings also. This included the light switches and the mains wall sockets. In the whole house only one electrical facility remained operational, the light in the kitchen. I wondered how in my hasty forays through the dark house, I had managed to avoid electrocuting myself on one of the many, live electric wires, which protruded from the plasterwork in each room. My next observation was that the ghastly wallpaper in the sitting room, had absorbed so much moisture, that it was hanging in limp folds from the damp walls on to which it had been pasted.
An hour later, as I drove toward my brother Dick's house at Agde, I reflected with satisfaction on the fact that at least my theory about one of the waste traps in the house having dried out, was probably correct, since the awful smell had abated with the running of the taps. Apart from that, most of my thoughts were rather depressing. To cheer myself up, I imagined that Dick would not have got much decorating done and that it had all been a ruse to have a few boozy debauched days away from home. At least I could look forward to joining in with the debauchery. Having parked my car, I walked towards where the map told me his house should be. As I approached, I began to suspect I’d made a big mistake with regard to Dick’s intentions. It was after 7pm on a cold late December night, the shutters and windows were wide open and the lights inside were blazing. I could hear a power drill and the smell of fresh paint wafted down the rue de Fraternite in Agde.
On making my presence known, I was met with the customary greeting "Hello squire", followed by "Put the kettle on. That’s Mike he takes two sugars in his tea". So I filled the kettle and put it on the gas ring, made Dick and myself some coffee and Mike a cup of tea. I wondered why builders, plasterers and decorators always drink tea and why they always have at least two spoons full of sugar in it. "I'm surprised you've got all your lights working. Mine even had the fittings taken", I said. "So did mine. That was our first job", came the reply, "it was really depressing when we got here. The walls were damp and the smell was something else". page 79 Copyright Frasquenet.com |
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